Giving Relationships Space
11/27/2019
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Whether working with an individual or couple, (or observing myself!) I frequently work with people stuck in their relationships. We want people to come near to us, to love us, to be close to us. “This should be easy” is an often refrain, paired with the belief that most everyone else obviously gets what they need. We often end up thinking “there must be something wrong with me”. Persistently unhappy and afraid, we know something is wrong, but most everything we try seems to end with the same result.... ​

Taking Relationships Beyond Survival  
1/29/2019

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“If we are in love, this should be easier, right?” You may ask yourself this question after having another major fight. Even more maddening, the cause of it seemed so silly. You look back and wonder how something so ordinary could cause so much conflict and distance....

The Courage to Face
10/8/2018
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​It feels like almost anything can trigger it – a familiar sound, an image flash, seeing a car that reminds you of THE person that reminds you of what happened, of IT. Anyone who has experienced trauma likely knows this familiar, dreaded experience. Flashbacks can freeze you in place, terrified, unable to move. Your brain immediately goes into overdrive – a flood of painful emotions, “what ifs”, and self-critical bludgeoning. “Will this ever stop?”...

Panic is Like a Fire
​10/1/2018
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Panic is not a slide – that terribly high, incredibly steep slide that once you start slipping there’s no stopping you from plummeting. ​No, panic is not a slide, it is more like a fire. All it can take is a single spark to get panic started...

Finding Purpose From Your Pain
​9/17/2018

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“It must be hard for you, hearing and dealing with all this pain and sadness every day.” ​I get this question, and many like it, on a weekly basis from my patients. They courageously dig in to the work of therapy, allowing me to join with them on their journey through their pain and suffering. I gather that they feel like therapy is a sort of dumping, that I’m a trash bin to gather and contain their “junk”. The reality is, your pain is so much more valuable...